A shell bereft

Hands cuffing the knees—
Like a shell I rocked
Back and forth, 
Back and forth. 
This time they planted the limbs horizontally—
Right beside the cadaver—it was also parallel
To that redwood canister 
(There the day-old flowers scented of murder in that corner)
Hidden under the white cloth
Next door. 
They told me that I've caught 
The cancer of the mind, 
And gave me a frock—
A white frock! 
Yes, and in that ghostly attire I shivered and rocked still. 
Hands cuffing the knees—
Like a shell I rocked
Back and forth, 
Back and forth.

There were thieves
Of the mundane mind approaching. 
Three thieves from the ugly world. 
They came to steal
My body, mind, and soul. 
They didn't care how, 
Didn't ask how, but
I would know. 
I would know. 
One night, 
To and fro the man paced—he tried to tell me that
I've been really depressed. 
Really depressed. 
He gave me a pill and told me to 
Go to rest
(Yes, go to rest), 
But I couldn't sleep, and while I got up to walk—
To float through corridors in that white ridiculous frock, barefooted—
He caught me, dragged me by the hair, 
And with a needle stole my soul away.

Hands cuffing the knees—
Like a shell I rocked
Back and forth, 
Back and forth. 
Into yet another night we all rocked
Like wild animals behind the bars. 
A sly snake slithered through and in the cage
(And there he stood amongst us)
To negotiate, and someone 
(He who were amongst us) 
Broke and betrayed. 
I've forgot his name, but that night
I've lost my name. 
Woe! My name! My name!

I've lost my mind and my name, 
And for a few months I ran—
Hiding from the third person. 
For this walking corpse was all I've left. 
I'd need to run for yet some more. 
For I'm hiding still 
(And you knew this was all that I've left). 
Hands cuffing the knees—
Like a shell—in the shell
There on my bed I rocked—back and forth, 
Back and forth as I rose to the scream of the sea—
Facing daylight every day amongst the waves.

Dale Chou
2001-06-14