Narcissus

I curled up and embraced myself
As each drop of life leaves me
Through my tired eyes. I saw my own
Image faintly outlined and multiplied
By the water and the waves. 
He is my love,

And a hypocrite who has betrayed
Himself and betrayed me, sold himself to
The many eyes of social expectations. 
He has purchased himself
A normal life, and
Refused
To listen to the cry of my wound. 
He has blinded himself
From the colour of my bleeding sighs.

Sometimes, he would look at me in my eyes
And turn away again. 
He couldn't face me.

Yesterday, 
He kissed her with his cold lips, 
And it was then
I knew he is lost for good, 
Even though he is my love and
He is my twin. In a few hours
He will buy a pink card and
Perhaps some red roses for that girl. 
He has said to her, whispered in her ear, 
"I love you." 
More than a thousand times, but
I am the one
Who he cuddled in fear at night.

I tried to sustain
This morbid life and love, 
This twisted deceit, but
My mind is messed up and
My heart is blistered. 
I cannot walk on anymore
With myself
Broken and torn. 
So, 
In the dead end, I kissed him—
I kissed my love, my twin—
Myself, and death—
Goodbye.

Dale Chou
2000-02-11